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Joke of the Day

"They say we are created in Gods image. So does that mean he smells the toilet paper after wiping too?"

"Fortune teller told me that I will be fucked by a beautiful lady today, and damn he was right a pretty mail lady just handed me over an audit letter from IRS."

"It's a good thing the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles wore masks, or people might have recognized the 4 giant turtles at their day jobs."

"Motion to rename biological clock ""restless egg syndrome."""

"What's the difference between Santa and a jew? Santa goes down the chimney, the Jews go up."

"I was listening to the comedy station today and Bill Cosby came on. I fell asleep shortly thereafter."

"I'd be calmer defusing a bomb after four Red Bulls than watching someone else use my laptop."

"""Billie Jean"" is probably my favorite song about someone named Billie Jean"

"why didn't the american leek want to talk to the japanese leek? because it was negi"

"At this point, websites with sudden talking ads have probably taken more years off my life than smoking ever could."