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Joke of the Day

"Lady Gaga got engaged on Valentine's Day with a heart-shaped ring, indicating her fiance shares her love for bold originality."

"I gave up my seat for a blind man on the bus today That's how I lost my job as a bus driver"

"Less than 1 month without a pope.... .....and we've already cured HIV."

"What do most people wear to court? Law-suits"

"Why did the elephant jump in the lake when it began to rain ? To stop getting wet !"

"A feminist, a vegan and a CrossFitter walk into a bar. What happens next? His head explodes, because he can't decide which one to tell you about first."

"What do you call a toothless bear? A gummy bear"

"How many optometrists does it take to change a light bulb ? 1 or 2 ? 1... or 2..."

"What's a nice ghoul like you doing in a crypt like this?"

"Three positives Thursday afternoon in the office: Me: yay it's 1.45pm, Coworker: and it's Thursday, Me: three positives, Coworker: what's the third, Me: It's still cumming!"