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Joke of the Day

"I gave up my seat for a blind man on the bus today That's how I lost my job as a bus driver"

"Why are Ice Cream Truck music so loud ? NSFW To muffle the sound of the captive kids that are held captive"

"Guy on phone telling gf he's bringing her a HUGE bouquet b/c 'she deserves the best'. Hilariously, he was peeing at a urinal the whole time."

"I am so glad that BP is easier to spell then Eyjafjallajokull"

"did you get the job? ""i don't know yet"" when will they tell you? interviewer: ""keith can you please ask your mum to wait in reception"""

"What does a prostitute and a lawyer have in common? They both screw you for $300 per hour. What's the difference? Most prostitutes have standards."

"If dogs have taught me anything, it's that barking is a GREAT way to get rid of people you don't want to speak to. Works for me EVERY TIME."

"All a farmer needs to do to get a girlfriend is... ...attract her."

"My steer got constipated the other day... ...No bullshit."

"If you had bad legs, why wouldn't you want to be a college professor? Because you never sitty down!"