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Joke of the Day

"I'm Black. So I can't be racist. But these suckers keep telling me that I am. ""Jake, you can't call yourself Black just because you went to jail once. That is racist"""

"My fear of spiders happened when I went to hit one with a newspaper, and it looked at me and did pushups saying ""try again bro."""

"My mother would give you 11 dollars for a dog turd if you told her it normally costs 15."

"Why is my Chinese girlfriend so bitchy? Well it's true, you are what you eat."

"What did the quadruple amputee say when he couldn't solve the riddle? I'm stumped."

"I told myself I should stop drinking .. .. but I'm not about to listen to some weirdo that talks to himself"

"What did Santa Clause give all the naughty boys and girls for Christmas this year? He made them Batman."

"I yelled ""shotgun"", long before anyone else, but I still got to sit in the backseat. I hate cops."

"Donald Trump just announced Mike Pence to be his Running Mate. If Hillary wants to one up Trump in that regard, her running mate should be Mike Tuppence."

"One. How many psychics does it take to change a light bulb?"