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Joke of the Day

"There should be only one World's Greatest Dad shirt. And you should have to kill the previous owner to wear it."

"What do you say to Jennifer Anniston after she has been stabbed? So noone told you knife was gonna be this way?"

"Say what you want about paedophiles. At least they drive slow in school zones."

"I wish there was something called the pizza/enchilada/beer diet where you lost weight. Cause I'm on it and that's not what's happening."

"How do you spot a vegan at a party? Don't worry, they'll let you know."

"Most conversations that occur over Bluetooth are about buying a used jet ski."

"Just dropped ranch dressing on my phone then licked it off. So some of you just got to first base with me."

"What is the difference between 69 and an ambush ? With 69 you see the cunt coming at you."

"Misery: Hello there! Company: I have a boyfriend..."

"A man went to a meeting for premature ejaculators anonymous but there was no one there, he came to early."