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Joke of the Day

"Did you know that each condom has a serial number printed on it? I guess you have never had to roll it back that far."

"My pistol only holds 9 bullets, so when I lose my shit I only get to kill 9 people or one cat."

"A boy walks in on his two parents having sex. He walks out of a threesome."

"I like my women like I like my Pistachio nuts. Easy to get inside or else I'll just move onto the next. Ha ha only joking. I'm so lonely."

"My Japanese girlfriend had a really bad tempura."

"Why did the knight stop using the internet? Because he was sick of chainmail."

"Danke for calling Germany. To order beer, press 1. To order weapons, press 2. To order philosophy, press 1 until it resembles a 2."

"Real girls have curves. A real girl is just one long, continuous curve. Do not date girl unless she is a parabola."

"I'm much better at organizing my thoughts on Reddit than I am IRL After all, most of my comments here just have the one point."

"Why did Jesus get all the ladies? Because he was hung like this (extends arms to sides)"