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Joke of the Day

"I only drink a little, but when I do, I turn into another person... ...and that person drinks a lot."

"That awkward 3 second lap dance you get at the movies when someone walks by you."

"Knock Knock. Who's not there? Not me."

"Sometimes my stomach will make a noise and my brain will be like ok I never signed off on that"

"What's the difference between Lance Armstrong and Adolf Hitler? Hitler can't finish a race"

"What do Alexander the Great and Winnie the Pooh have in common ? They both have 'the' as their middle names !"

"How much does Dickbutt make an hour? Minimeme wage"

"What does the boy from Manila spread on his toast? Filipeanut Butter."

"Where's the safest place to keep a Man-eating toilet? The women's room."

"What do Hispanic midgets cut their pizza with? Little Caesar's"