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Joke of the Day

"Robert Pattinson said Kristen Stewart humiliated him. Then he added it was even more humiliating than being in Twilight."

"I don't always eat breakfast But when I do, I have dos eggies"

"What's the problem with Java jokes? They have no *class*."

"A little boy asked his father, ""Daddy, how much does it cost to get married?"" Father replied, ""I don't know son, I'm still paying."""

"I sing like Sinatra and have the brain of Einstein. I think that's why girls call me Frankenstein."

"I went to a zoo that only had dogs It was a shit zoo."

"I was at the track yesterday. I backed a horse at ten to one. It came in at quarter past four."

"me: ""we commemorate the day you died every year"" jesus: ""thats nice, what's the day called?"" me: jesus: me: jesus: ""keith?"" me: ""bad friday"""

"I was pretty nervous doing stand-up in front of a bunch of nudists but then I imagined the crowd in their underwear and it helped so much."

"Can you open your mouth without showing your teeth? You're hired."