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Joke of the Day

"I don't always eat breakfast But when I do, I have dos eggies"

"In this economy I sometimes have to make tough choices. Like between eating or buy that cover for my iPad."

"I saw a midget insect having his first orgasm... It was a little beecoming."

"I checked my hotel room for left behind goods and all I found was this lousey comb. I guess you could say my room was bugged."

"Made the mistake of ordering chlorine for the pool and researching Kenya so I'm tweeting this from what appears to be a windowed black van."

"My colleagues call me the pussy slayer... I'm in charge of euthanising cats at the kennel."

"What side of the road do they drive on in ireland? None. They're so drunk and violent no one is allowed to drive."

"Did you guys hear about what Nelly thought? She thought chicken manure was jelly."

"Joke I told my one-eyed coworker today: Me: What do you call a terrorist who's missing an eye? Him: I give up Me: A terrorst"

"Why did the little boy flush a pencil down the toilet? Because it was a Number 2."