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Joke of the Day

"How many Sore Losers does it take to change a Lightbulb? Won."

"I love the smell of relapse in the morning"

"Why can't Mexico beat the US in the Olympics? Because all their runners, jumpers and swimmers are already here."

"Enjoy your animal shaped biscuits. Do not eat if seal is broken."

"There are three people in this world... Those who can count, and those you can not."

"Honking the whole time isn't going to make everyone in front of you go any faster. Stupid geese."

"So i was at lunch with a small girl she kept complainin bout how she wanted vanilla ice cream so i said this girl like ice cream cuz she as white as vanilla!"

"I'm going to start an education program aimed at changing kids' reading habits to post-rapture Christian novels. It's called ""no, child, 'Left Behind!'"""

"[on date] Here, let me help you with your jacket! *i gently remove her jacket* This is mine now. Cya"

"The Thai Girl One day, I decided to take a bus to work for a change. Seated across the aisle from me was a beuatiful thai girl. I thought to myself, ""please don't get an erection"". But she did."