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Joke of the Day

"Astronaut: wtf is this NASA: it's space food A: I specifically asked for only Milky Way bars N: look we get it but- A: no no I'm coming down"

"""Mother I'd like to fuck"" She said ""Ok, let's break your arms and get started."""

"Studies show that fat men make better lovers than skinny men But my mate Esteban always breaks the bed when he tries!"

"A man was dissatisfied with a Chad Kroeger album he bought off of the 95% rack... So he returned it and got his Nickelback"

"Alcohol is the leading cause of me getting yelled at for being a pterodactyl on the coffee table."

"Why are Canadians atheist? Because they are Eh-theists."

"My son said he wanted to get into organized crime when he grew up. ""Government or private sector?"""

"Do you enjoy interacting with people?"" ""Nope"" ""Great, you're hired!"" DMV interview process"

"What do you call a man with no arms and legs that falls into a body of water? Bob."

"Why wasn't the Achilles invited into the body? Because it was already attendin'."