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Joke of the Day
"Die Hard VIII: Die Even More Harder: Mostest Harderest."
Next Joke
"[couple tossing baby back and forth] [music stops] judge: custody granted dad: [holding baby] AW DAMMIT"
"Is molestation rape foreplay? Is it rude to molest someone and then not rape them? Woman: I didn't let him rape me because he did not molest me first. I'm not that type of girl."
"What does Harry Potter say when he wants a cigarette? Tobaccio"
"My favorite Jesus is the one who gives musicians MTV Video Music Awards. My second favorite Jesus is my landscaper."
"Why did the pervert cross the road? Because he couldn't get his dick out of the chicken."
"IAN: Why is that bear hanging out in the bar? ME: He's a well known, gimmick. IAN: Really? ME: That's Conan. Conan The Bar Bear, Ian."
"Whats the first word a swede says after its born? wouaaa wouaaa wu wu welcome refugees"
"Why is the number '9' like a peacock? It's nothing without its tail."
"I hate when a grocery clerk judges you for what you put on the checkout belt. I found that dead cat behind YOUR store & now I want to buy it"