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Joke of the Day
"Why is the number '9' like a peacock? It's nothing without its tail."
Next Joke
"*watches an extremely cute guy flirt with an equally cute girl at the gym from the floor above like an old witch on a mountain*"
"TIL that Kim Kardashian's giant ass has it's own birth certificate, and even has a legal name: Kanye."
"""What sins have you committed?"" Well... [20 minutes later] ... finally fit my whole fist up there. I shit you not. Father? *vomiting sound*"
"Honey, your skirt is so short that your STD is showing."
"a woman wrote a c function to calculate the weight of her breasts the program crashed due to stack overflow"
"Why do porn directors prefer real Christmas trees? Because they don't need fluffing."
"Honey I Shrunk The Kids And Then I Shrunk The Lawnmower And They Are Riding It Around My Head And Giving Me A Haircut It Is Awesome"
"Two back desk orchestral players go fishing And one falls out of the boat. He screams: ""help, I don't know how to swim!"" His partner replies: ""just fake it!"""
"If money can't buy happiness, explain ice cream. You can't."