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Joke of the Day
"How do terrorist surfers spend free time at Guantanamo Bay? WATERBOARDING!!!"
Next Joke
"I keep waiting for a musical montage to start so I can do something awesome."
"[ouija board] ""Spirits are u there? I A M H E R E. Y O U W A N N A T A L K? Y O U W A N N A H A N G O U T? [squints] ""A needy board?"""
"What did the stamp say to the envelope? ""I've become attached to you."""
"In Israel, we just want peace. A piece of Jordan, a piece of Egypt, a piece of Lebanon..."
"Johnny: Will you marry me? Jenny: You have to ask my father first. Johnny: (later) Well, I asked him. Jenny: And what did he say? Johnny: He said he's already married."
"What's red, white, and black all over? An American plantation."
"A woman woke her husband in the middle of the night. ""There's a burglar downstairs eating the cake that I made this morning."" ""Who shall I call"" her husband asked ""police or ambulance?"""
"No, I'm not telling my wife the reason we need a new blender is because I didn't remove the pit from the avocado, that's between us."
"Mother in law just said global warming with air quotes. It's going to be a long night."