137719

Joke of the Day

"Why does Donald Trump hate pre shredded cheese? He wants to make America grate again."

"why do women wear makeup and perfume? They are ugly and they smell bad."

"Why did princess Diana cross the road? She wasn't wearing a seatbelt."

"I got fired from my bingo calling job today. Apparently 'a meal for two with a terrible view' is not an appropriate way to call 69."

"Why was everybody too afraid to go to the barber? He committed barbercide."

"Two cans of Red Bull may give you x-ray vision, but five cans give you the ability to hear oxygen."

"[at ER] ME: my stomach hurts. DOC: have you been able to eat anything today? ME: yeah, like 75 pieces of pizza."

"What did the egg say to the pot of boiling water? I can't get hard, I just got laid!"

"My wedding anniversary is next week. Does anyone have an idea for a gift that conveys the sentiment 'our love is priceless' for under $75?"

"KFC CD Our local KFC was giving away CDs today, 'the Best of KFC'. Wasn't expecting much but it's finger clicking good!"