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Joke of the Day

"If your name is Paul... (If you beat somebody in any way). Are you a flower? CAUSE YOU JUST GOT PAULINATED!"

"[at the race] ""RUNNERS ON YOUR MARK"" Mark: ouch!"

"What did the pea say to the peanut? At least you got one nut, I don't see what you're crying about."

"Do people who swirl and sniff their wine in the glass know that it tastes just the same straight from the bottle? Amateurs."

"Went for a handshake and got snubbed. So I turned it into an impromptu Macarena dance, since I didn't wanna look stupid"

"Its not gay if its a three way The two other guys promised."

"Do the right thing. Not right away, but like after you get called out."

"Did you hear about the tragedy at the Hipster company's work retreat? There were several hundred casual tees."

"What's Irish and stays out all night? Patty O' furniture"

"Did you hear the one about the loyal Jewish patriot who put America's interests ahead of Israel's? Me neither."