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Joke of the Day
"The first time I had sex, I was really scared... I was all alone! --Rodney Dangerfield"
Next Joke
"I was planning on taking my little girls to the start of summer village fair today, but its raining, windy and cold so we decided not to go. May weather won."
"*sends signal to space 24/7 that just says Updog* *aliens respond* Alien: Whats Updog? NASA: Lol guess there isnt intelligent life out there"
"""I got you, babe."" - kidnappers"
"Best part of cleaning the apartment is putting new magazines on the coffee table so you can look cultured for the guests you don't have over"
"How do you prevent a canoe from tipping? Paint it black."
"I don't see why everyone is up in arms about Oscar Pistorius.... Haven't we all woken up legless and fired a few into the missus?"
"Baltimore's chief export seems to be artisanal crime narrative."
"My Dad wondered why he got so many spam emails about circumcision... I told him they probably got a tip off."
"Tom Brady walks into a grocery store. He buys a bag of chips, equaling up to $1.75. How much does he give the cashier? 2 dollars, so he gets a quarter back."