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Joke of the Day

"I babysat for the first time and it was just non-stop screaming. Next time I'll look before I lie down on the couch."

"What did Dave Grohl say when he dropped his Greek sandwich? There goes my gyro"

"Did you hear about the guy who watched that new Bruce Willis film five times in a row? He was a Die Hard fan."

"You hear about the dyslexic agnostic insomniac? He stayed up all night wondering whether or not there was a Dog."

"What is ET short for? He's got little legs."

"What did the pink panther say as he skipped down the sidewalk? Dead ant, dead ant, dead ant dead ant dead ant dead annnnnt, deaaad ant."

"Whats brown and rhymes with Snoop? Dr. Dre"

"What does the new socialist leader of France mean for the country, Europe, and the world? Nationalized wine.. Sounds like the right wing will have some whine too."

"I've found that the things I'm most interested in aren't really in my best interest."

"The Black Death was the best disease. Any attempts to replicate it are just plague-iarism."