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Joke of the Day

"Do you know what smuck is? It's what smurf's do after smoreplay"

"If a woman asks you to guess her age, always subtract 10 years from your estimate. IMPORTANT: Do NOT do this if she's in her early twenties."

"It's like my uncle always said: ""The day I can't do my job drunk..."" ""...is the day I hand in my badge and gun."""

"What do you call a lesbian dinosaur? A lickalotofpuss."

"If I'm on a sneezing fit it's best to let me go, because by the 4th time you say ""God bless you,"" I'm ready for you to be out of my life."

"Did you hear about the girl who was so keen on road safety that she always wore white at night ? Last Winter she was knocked down by a snow plough"

"My new coloring book, How To Tell The Woman You Love You've Been Living In Her Shrubs For A Year, comes out on tUESsdhay martha i love you"

"Oh you love your mom's cooking? Name 4 of her dishes."

"original joke time! The last Pope was always butthurt... They called him the Wholly Salty Sea."

"I wonder how many crimes The Muppets have kermitted."