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Joke of the Day

"Did you hear about the girl who was so keen on road safety that she always wore white at night ? Last Winter she was knocked down by a snow plough"

"Are instant noodles male or female? Male. Cause they get ready in a couple of minutes."

"Helped my son flush his betta fish today. He asked ""Dad, does God love bettas?"" & I said ""Dunno, son, ask him after we flush you."""

"Why are atoms untrustworthy? They make up everything. Credit to /u/ipsokinetikon from an askreddit thread about what not to trust."

"I invented a new word It's called plagiarism."

"My son, 5, scared of the thunder. I told him that was silly considering the sun could explode any day, killing us all. Think that helped."

"What is it called when a duck kills another duck? Quack on quack crime."

"News:""a black bear hovered over a convenience store in central Florida for more than seven hours..."" They have hover bears? jealous again"

"Beards eventually grow on you. Title"

"Hitler was bad. He is going to Heil. get it? heil?"