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Joke of the Day

"My boss turned round this morning and called me a ""bullshitter."" I'm not too worried about it though he didn't really."

"I'm an Asian male who scored a 2300 on the SAT I still don't know if i met my parents' expectASIANs."

"What does a tuna, a glue stick, and a piano have not have in common? You can tune a piano, but you can't piano a tuna."

"Whats red and smells like blue paint? Red Paint"

"What's worse than ten dead babies nailed to a tree? One dead baby nailed to ten trees."

"I'm spending valentines day doing math homework. I'm stuck here with an eX, and I'm still trying to figure out whY."

"Whenever I feel discouraged, I remember the words of my then-3 yr old after she puked carrots on the floor: ""I'm gonna need more carrots."""

"Crime in multi-storey car parks. Wrong on so many levels."

"So I was driving Sasha Grey to a porno shoot and I asked her where I should park She said right in the g-spot"

"Ever read a classic novel that really moves you? I feel that way about cheesecake."