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Joke of the Day

"Why did Tiger Woods cheat on his wife? He's used to playing 18 holes."

"What's the difference between an incontinent person and a 1980's Renault? One's a leaker, one's a Le Car."

"Trump is a misogynist. And I think it is disgusting the views he has on bitches."

"Do NOT lower your standards to ""keep"" anyone. Make them meet you at YOUR level. Self respect is power."

"Trying to make a collage for my preschooler's art project using magazine cut-outs, but I keep ending up with ransom notes."

"Historians say teenagers in medieval times would send an average of 180 tiny scrolls by raven per day"

"Did you hear about the Guitar Player who got arrested last week? He was caught fingering A minor."

"How to elephants talk to each other ? By 'elephone !"

"In order to finish my 2016 resolution, i cut off my left leg... That way, I'll reach my goal of losing 20 pounds AND start 2017 off on the right foot!"

"Instead of murder/suicide, I'm contemplating the rare suicide/murder, whereby I jump out a high window and land on my girlfriend."