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Joke of the Day

"What's your ring tone? Pinkish with a bit of brown."

"At my funeral I want a magician to saw my coffin in half or I'm not going."

"Interesting that on Opposite Day you cannot declare that it is so."

"Anyone you can do, I can do better.."

"I was the beast man at my sister's wedding, and there isn't a day goes by that I don't wish that that was a typo."

"I was at the pub with the Mrs last night and I said, ""I love you.' She said, ""Is that you or the beer talking?"" I replied, ""It's me... talking to the beer!"" "

"if u were a pirate wat woud ur name be? mine woud be Nudebeard bc my beard is nude ""I meant do you have any questions about the White House"""

"Caught in the act My wife walked in on me masturbating to a picture of an optical illusion I said ""Darling.. it's not what it looks like"""

"Bruce Springsteen isn't very good at math I don't think anyone's heard him count past the number 4 in years."

"Why don't black people go on cruises? Not falling for that one again."