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Joke of the Day

"1day I'll be thankful my daughter is an independent iron willed human w/an unrelenting strong voice,but not today, not in this grocery store"

"Me: hey squirrel, dnt steal d pigeon's food, the eggs are about to hatch S: u stole a cake frm ur roomate Me: Me: here, take the eggs too"

"So this girl asked me what I look for in women I told her, ""3 holes and a heart beat"""

"Only a fraction of you will get this There's a fine line between numerator and denominator"

"Who is the chess player's dream companion? A *Czech Mate*"

"What do you call a dog with no legs? It does not matter the dog is not coming"

"Aspirin is a Placebo!!! That sense of relief you're feeling is all in your head."

"Abraham: look here son, i got windows 98! Isaac: but dad, we don't have enough memory? Abraham:Have faith, God will provide the RAM."

"What kind of bees produce milk? Boo-bees !"

"did you hear that a former US president bought out a convenience store chain? Bush did 7/11"