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Joke of the Day

"If you walk into a room that's empty except for a clown doll sitting in a chair at a tiny table, you're probably about to be murdered."

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"What's the difference between a hooker and a lawyer? The hooker will stop screwing you after you're dead."
"Have I ever taught you South american Judo? Judo know if I have a knife, Judo know if I got a gun."
"Bill murray banged my mom and everyone chalked it up as yet another fun silly thing bill murray did but he destroyed my family"
"God was able to create everything in only 6 days cause he didn't have a woman next to him telling him what color she wanted everything to be"
"What do you call a gay Jew? A he-blew."
"The Fed is thinking of minting a new coin with Obama's face on it It'll be worth 60 (.60 = 3/5)"
"A man stormed into my barbershop, claiming he'd gotten fleas from coming here... So I checked. Just as I suspected, it was all lice."
"A Russian businessman has been ordered to pay his wife $4.5 billion in what is being called the world's most expensive divorce. Then L.A. Clippers owner Donald Sterling said, ""Stay tuned."""
"You shouldn't judge people. What if that bloke outside your window with a clown mask and knife is just a chef that lost his way."