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Joke of the Day

"Bill murray banged my mom and everyone chalked it up as yet another fun silly thing bill murray did but he destroyed my family"

"I had to give away peeve, my Great Dane. But I don't really care because once he grew up he was my biggest pet peeve."

"What did the 0 say to the 8? Nice belt."

"I started up a poster design company called ""Original Poster"" We don't deliver."

"Perhaps one day he'll meet his Girl Fieri."

"Women to the left of me Women to the right of me That's when I realized I was in the wrong bathroom"

"What did the customer say to the pet shop assistant after buying a bunny? Rabbit up nicely it's a gift!"

"Why are so many computer scientists atheists? Because praying for a bug fix is guaranteed to fail."

"Turns out I got Lazik surgery by mistake so now I have two lazy eyes."

"It's a good thing I keep condoms in my backpack because midterms have been fucking me all week"