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Joke of the Day

"My favorite mythological creature. My favorite mythical creature is the happy bitch in tampon commercials."

"Teacher: What's big and yellow and comes in the morning to brighten a mothers day? Pupil: The school bus!"

"I like my women like I like my coffee. Irish."

"How many Latinos does it take to do a wax job? A Brazillion!"

"Just signed up to study abroad I heard she has absolute cans."

"Did you hear about the blind circumciser? He got the sack"

"Don't be afraid to put yourself out there. The worst that can happen is embarrassment, social shame and everyone thinking you're an idiot"

"Teacher : What's happens to gold when it is exposed to the air ? Pupil : It's stolen !"

"Just put 3 sugar cubes in my tea, and by sugar, I mean xanax, because sugar is really bad for you.."

"There was a sign out at the whore house today... It read ""Temporarily closed for lunch; Beat it"""