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Joke of the Day
"We don't lose friends, we just learn who our real ones are."
Next Joke
"Instead of God, try worshipping a golf cart for a few years and see if it makes any difference."
"I read to blind kids in my spare time. Their favorite book is ""2dots1dot3dots 4dots3dots 5dots2dots1dot 2dots1dot5dots."""
"What do you call a promise you can't keep? A campaign promise."
"I just got a Facebook invite to my brother's non-alcoholic Mormon wedding. I dunno which part of that sentence makes me want to cry more."
"Losing game pieces sucks... Especially when it's hide and seek... I'll never forget you, Brian.."
"Q: How many Poles does it take to change a light bulb? A: Just one but you need 6000 Russian troops in case he goes on strike!"
"My kid wanted juice but I gave him water which he promptly turned into whine."
"What's orange and sounds like a parrot? Carrot!"
"My New Year's Resolution was to stop making innuendo jokes about my sexual stamina. Day two and so far so good. I just hope I can keep it up."