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Joke of the Day

"I just got a Facebook invite to my brother's non-alcoholic Mormon wedding. I dunno which part of that sentence makes me want to cry more."

"""Alright Mike Tyson, to win $100,000 you need to name a fashion accessory and a place in Australia."" Mike Tyson: ""That's easy. It's Perth!"""

"What do you call safe sex with a horse Trojan"

"What is the difference between a cat and a comma? A cat has its claws at the end of its paws; a comma is a pause at the end of a clause."

"How do you get banned from a subreddit without breaking the rules? Post something humorous in /r/lounge. P.S: Is there anyway to ungild myself?"

"Let's give a big round of applause to everyone on Facebook who went to the gym today even though they ""hate it""!! They are the real heroes."

"What do you call it when a person has a fear of Vietnamese food? They have a Pho-bia!"

"When someone says ""everything happens for a reason"" I'd like to smack them and say ""yeah, I guess you're right"""

"Google search history: Marawana Marjawana Is there a j in marawana Wheat Wheat for smoking Free wheet"

"Jesus: Go forth. You are now fishers of men. Peter: *harpoons a guy* Jesus: Too literal, bro."