148408

Joke of the Day

"Q: How many Poles does it take to change a light bulb? A: Just one but you need 6000 Russian troops in case he goes on strike!"

"Guy: so what u up to after this? Me: {remembering my friend said to be mysterious but quirky} probably eat a whole red onion in an alley"

"Why'd the British man cross the ocean? Freedom."

"My buddy's phone autocorrected ""wife"" to ""wide"" and now he's living in my garage."

"Before kids: I'd choose going blind over going deaf. After kids: Deaf! I wanna be deaf!"

"I wear the pants in this family. It's so embarrassing when I go to Olive Garden, and the rest of my family is naked from the waist down."

"Did you hear about the guy who smashed up a Chinese restaurant? They put him in jail for wonton destruction."

"angel of God: mary u shall give birth to the son of God himself & he shall be named Jesus & shall die on a cross mary: i have a boyfriend"

"What do you call a research facility in the middle east? Darpa Darpa"

"Why does everyone have to point out they adopted their dog? Are they worried that we are suspicious because it doesn't look like them?"