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Joke of the Day
"Women are like snorkels... They can go down, but occasionally need to come up for air."
Next Joke
"We've got people working on world peace, and I'm here wondering how I can swipe a piece of my patient's chocolate without her noticing."
"I proposed to my Mexican girlfriend but she said... I wasn't the Juan."
"Greece just demanded royalties from all countries in the world for using democracy ""As for Russia, they don't have to pay us anything""- Greek Prime Minister Alexis Tsipras clarified earlier today."
"""Before you criticize someone, you should walk a mile in their shoes... ....That way when you criticize them, you are a mile away from them and you have their shoes."" ~ Jack Handey"
"SON: Is it true trees kill more people than wild animals do? [tree hiding in broom closet tenses up] DAD: Nonsense. [tree sighs in relief]"
"""420 blaze it faggot"" ""grandma stop"" ""snapback"" ""stop trying to be hip grandma"" ""i have hip problems yolo swag drake"""
"How do Southerners get through customs so quickly? They do declare!"
"Who ever taught Storm Troopers how to shoot also must have taught white golfers how to high five each other."
"My grandpa died peacefully in his sleep I can't speak for everyone else in his car though"