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Joke of the Day

"I proposed to my Mexican girlfriend but she said... I wasn't the Juan."

"When I was younger I used to think I was a God. Most parents give their kids food, mine gave me burnt offerings."

"Say what you want about Donald Trump... ...While you still can..."

"What does Charlie Sheen call his penis? The HIV shiv."

"last night, my wife started smoking. but it was ok - I just slowed down a bit and used some lube."

"I was walking through an arts and crafts shop when I saw a sign saying, ""Glue Sticks."" I thought, ""No shit..."""

"Still suddenly panicking that you haven't done your homework on Sunday evenings, despite being in your thirties"

"What would shakira be singing if she had been data scientist? Tsamina mina eh eh... ""Weka Weka"" eh eh..."

"Came up with this one when I was 10: what do you get when you cross an elephant and a snail? I don't know either, but it sure won't be good for your vegetable garden."

"Which is the favourite Gorilla proverb? A fiend in need is a fiend indeed!"