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Joke of the Day

"A guy follows a cute girl into an elevator. They enter the elevator and he asks her ""Are you going down?"". She says no. Then he asks ""Would you like to?"""

"Thanks for painting the cell towers green so they look like trees, California, but can you paint the homeless like pavement next?"

"You know the Yahoo hack is not that bad... at least someone knows my password to my Yahoo account."

"There's no 'i' in team... No, but there's a 'u' in cunt!"

"[Request] Any good jokes with the word ""shit"" in them? I love shit jokes. Thanks."

"[Dinner with GFs parents] *Does shadow puppet of a bird* ""Thats great but I asked what you do for a living?"" Um *smooths tie* I'm unemployed"

"I leave notes around the house to remind me of things I need to do, like ""Pick up milk"" or ""Pay gas bill"" or ""Stop wasting your life away"""

"I don't mean to be a party pooper but... where's your bathroom?"

"What color does your skin turn when you pour molten gold onto it? Au-burn ^He^^He^^^He^^^^He"

"A man knighted for how he stood while ejaculating Sircumstance"