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Joke of the Day

"Girlfriend: No, you hang up... Me: (click)"

"I had a girlfriend.... I once had a girlfriend with a taser.... She was STUNNING (Old joke possibly in this reddit too....)"

"A group of dogs walk into a University. They approach the receptionist who says, ""Hi, can I help you?"" ""Yeah,"" one of the dogs reply, ""We wanna see our Masters."""

"Don't worry, officer, this isn't my blood. Really, stop searching me! I feel fine!"

"I fell asleep at 3:45. My 5yo woke up at 6:30. Use protection, young people."

"What did the disgruntled alien customer say to the store clerk? Take me to your leader!"

"Every chair is a reclining chair when you're drunk."

"Knock Knock Knock knock Who's there? Cows Cows who? Cows moo! They don't hoo!"

"apparently my psychiatrist doesn't appreciate that i call her my new drug dealer"

"Modern art is easy to understand If you left poop at the door, rang the bell, and ran away - it's installation. If you rang the bell and then deposited the poop- it's performance."