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Joke of the Day
"Knock Knock Knock knock Who's there? Cows Cows who? Cows moo! They don't hoo!"
Next Joke
"I have an extensive library of over 2,000 classic, important books just in case you have a question about the first 54 pages of one of them."
"Anybody who says they could never conceive of killing another human being just needs to meet more people."
"How many people work in the Lada factory? Two. One to cut and one to glue"
"Me: [bursts into wife's meeting] BABE, IT HAPPENED! Wife: Dave, I'm at wo- Me: I paid for 6 [empties chicken nuggets on table] I got 7"
"What does going down on an old woman and a pork pie have in common? You have to bite off the crust, lick the gooey stuff before you get to the meaty bits"
"To my student loans I am forever in your debt."
"I used to own a nocturnal horse... She was a nightmare."
"Nothing is as scary as logging into Facebook and seeing someone you were secretly with last night has uploaded a new album."
"My job sent me to a sexual harassment seminar last week... And now, I'm thinking I'm gonna be pretty good at it."