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Joke of the Day

"What did the disgruntled alien customer say to the store clerk? Take me to your leader!"

"[after my murder] COP: Can u think why anyone would want to kill him? WIFE: Christ yes *starts Power Point presentation* Make yourself comfy"

"the latest trend I hear the latest trend is to install trampolines on cruise ships - apparently everyone's jumping on board"

"If I have learned anything in life it's don't throw away your fat clothes"

"I just don't get bukkake It goes straight over my head."

"A Georgia State Trooper pulls over a car. He says... ...to the driver, ""Got any ID?"" The driver says, ""'Bout what?"""

"Why can any hamburger run the mile in under four minutes? Because it's a FAST food!"

"Is it cocky to have more than one penis? I think it's two cocky."

"Prove that lightning isn't wizards fighting. You can't."

"My mother was feeling cold so now I'm wearing a sweater."