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Joke of the Day

"Q: Did you hear about the new blonde hoodlum? A: She runs around spray-painting her name on chain link fences."

"If I ever become a serial killer I am going to dispose of my victim's bodies by throwing them into a bottomless pit It's a floorless plan."

"Since the Intel processors are named i3, i5 and i7... does that mean Intel can't even?"

"The first rule of Yacht Club is you need a membership and a boat."

"Doctor Doctor I feel like a racehorse. Take one of these every 4 laps!"

"""Well ... I'll be dammed."" Bodies of water when they see beavers coming."

"Can a woman turn a man into a millionaire? Yes, if he's a billionaire..."

"A tourist asks a Scottish villager ""Do you have a local attraction?"" ""We used to- he answers- but she got married."""

"Opinions are like orgasms, mine matter most and I don't care if you have one."

"3 old ladies go to a baseball game with a bottle of liquor. They finish the bottle...what inning is it and what are the circumstances on the field? Bottom of the fifth and all the bags are loaded."