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Joke of the Day

"A tourist asks a Scottish villager ""Do you have a local attraction?"" ""We used to- he answers- but she got married."""

"My wife's resting in the garden. Well, at rest."

"What's the similarity of a dough and a human? If they are thick, they have a hard time to rise"

"My ""15 minutes of fame"" are when I get my paycheck and everyone I owe money comes to collect"

"I think tomorrow I'm going to respond to everyone using only lyrics from songs by The Dead Deads. Wish me some luck at the DMV."

"Is it a good idea to have multiple PhDs? To a certain degree."

"What drink does hitler hate the most? Juice"

"I hate gender roles. They make me so angry and virile and strong"

"""Pick a card, any card, make sure you memorize it, now put it back with the rest"": me, with my wife at the Hallmark Store on Valentine's Day"

"My wife got mad at me for my long-term addiction to watching Bruce Willis movies. I told her old habits die hard"