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Joke of the Day

"*takes 400 selfies to find one I think is good enough to post* caption: Just a random quick shot, I love capturing these special moments"

"Dicks are like LAYS potato chips... No one ever sucks JUST ONE!!"

"So, I was giving my nephew a bath the the other day...... and he pointed to my penis and asked ""Why is your penis bigger than mine?"" I looked at him and said ""That's because mine is erect!"""

"Who do mice worship? Cheesus. :)"

"I'm offering a $1,000 reward to anyone who brings me $1,000 and two tacos."

"Why do French tanks have rear view mirrors? So they can see the battle!"

"Why do women parachutists wear cups? So they won't whistle on the way down."

"Lobotomy is the solution for all mental illnesses It's a no brainer"

"What do the Patriots and Measles have in common? They both got to go to Disneyland, because some idiot decided to pass on something."

"If at first I don't succeed, I've already met my wife's expectations."