13689

Joke of the Day

"As a kid, I had a real obsession with Posh Spice It cost my parents a fortune in saffron..."

"Being in middle management is like being a toilet seat... Look up and you see a bunch of arseholes, look down and all you see are shits."

"ladies: the day after Halloween, don't forget to buy all the discounted blood capsules to keep in your mouth when men tell you to smile"

"Note to Self: In future interviews, don't say ""Safe in your strong arms"" when the employer asks where I see myself in 5 years."

"The inventor of distorted mirrors has passed away. His funeral will be held in asymmetry."

"A man stood outside the senate yelling: ""The government is stupid!"" He got 10 years in prison for revealing national secrets."

"2 out of 3 isn't bad. Unless you come home from the park with 2 out 3 kids. Then it's bad"

"YOU'LL SEE, YOU'LL ALL SEE! An enthusiastic optician throwing dozens of pairs of glasses out into a crowd."

"Why couldn't the American leave Russia? He was snowden"

"I'd love to see Jason Statham's face when he finds out you can turn down movie roles."