136756

Joke of the Day

"Whenever I'm nervous on a business call, I just envision the person on the other end of the phone as a muppet."

"The Russian army orders 100K rubbers from a US company, specifying 12"" fit needed. The US firm fills the order with packaging marked ""MEDIUM."""

"How do you kill a German? Put them in front of a red light in the middle of the desert."

"""..,you will die in seven days"" *creepy voice on the phone* Me; ""new phone, who dis?"""

"""I wasn't that drunk..."" ""Dude, you were driving your truck around the Walmart parking lot trying to find your truck."""

"I remember the first time I had sex... I still have the receipt :')"

"Yesterday I gave my seat to a blind man. Today I lost my job as a bus driver."

"Why don't the Greeks, Slavs, and Armenians celebrate Thanksgiving? Because they don't like Turkey"

"Canadian college to launch marijuana cultivation course......... There's only a limited number of openings for students - they'll have to weed some of them out."

"What do zombie vegans eat? ... Grains!!!"