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Joke of the Day

"How many hipsters does it take to screw in a light bulb? You don't know...? Oh.. Man, that's lame."

"What's Scrooge's favourite Christmas game? Mean-opoly."

"Googled 'how to start a fire' got 10000 matches"

"""Bless your heart"" is southern for ""I'm pretty sure you were dropped on your head as a child."""

"I'm not afraid of killing cockroaches. It's the fear of his friends and family's plan to avenge his death while I sleep, that haunts me."

"I'm not trying to be romantic but you have something in your eye. My dick."

"Dreamed last night the world was running out of air. We figured out how to make it with carrots and broccoli. Al Gore, call me."

"I stop drinking !!!!!!!!!!!!! .......but only when I sleep."

"I'm not saying I hate you... but I would unplug your life support to charge my phone."

"I asked a North Korean how was life in his country... He said he couldn't complain."