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Joke of the Day
"I party until the taxi with the pretty red and blue lights picks me up."
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"My new thesaurus just came in Not only is it terrible but it's also terrible"
"Communist lesbians are the strongest kind They use fists of steel"
"The next time I see a feminist say ""Kill all men""... I'll just reply ""Valar dohaeris""."
"Did you hear about the Hollywood actress that got murdered...? Person 1: Her name was Reese, errr, Reese, Reese whatshername... Person 2: Witherspoon? Person 1: No, with a knife."
"There are two types of people in this world. Those who can extrapolate from incomplete data...."
"Dentist to parsimonious patient ""No we give no discount for empty spaces when cleaning and polishing teeth Mrs. Borde!"""
"I've been going to the gym for 3 weeks now with no results.. What Pokemon do I use to lose weight?"
"What did Hamlet say when he was thinking of sending a message? To e or not to e that is the question."
"Need a clean joke about sexually transmitted diseases for my presentation tomorrow. Please help! Update: I chose to go with ""my name is _____ _____ and I have STDs... (pause) as my topic"""