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Joke of the Day

"I don't want your undivided attention. I want your multiplied attention. Make clones of yourself and give me all of their attention too."

"What kind of degree do you inherit through marriage? A degree in law."

"A child drinks bleach, why is milk often given? To make them happy before they die"

"Do Bigfoot hunters and ghost hunters think the other ones are dumb or are they like: ""Game recognize game?"""

"Reddit, what are some of your best Special Olympics jokes? NSFW"

"Who is this Rorschach guy.... ... and why does he paint all these pictures of my parents fighting?"

"WIFE: Your heavy drinking is making you delusional ME: *turns to friend* Do you think that's true? WOLVERINE: Nah, don't listen to her"

"Someone called me racist for saying ""black paint"" I disagreed with him, since pointing out the color of paint does not infer anything about my opinions of different ethnicities"

"Bono from U2 is the voice of my car's GPS It sucks. The streets have no names and I still haven't found what I'm looking for."

"How do you measure a Lego figure's shoe size? In square feet."