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Joke of the Day

"I don't want your undivided attention. I want your multiplied attention. Make clones of yourself and give me all of their attention too."

"How many women does it take to screw in a lightbulb? One."

"How do you turn a duck into a soul singer? You put it in the microwave until its bill withers."

"Men can I ask whats up with your all-in-one shampoo/conditioner/body wash/insect repellent/motor oil/mouth wash/sun block/laundry detergent"

"I went to Africa recently... ...and I saw that they used Co2 as fuel instead of petrol or diesel. I couldn't believe it and I exclaimed, ""Madagascar!"""

"In honor of Mother's day yesterday, did anyone here play jokes on their mom instead of give gifts?"

"Wife: where's the baby? Me: up on the roof Wife: THE ROOF? Me: relax. He's got sunscreen on"

"My wife didn't believe me when I told her I'd built a car out of spaghetti, penne and tortellini... ......You should've seen the look on her face as I drove pasta."

"Why was the moth so unpopular ? He kept picking holes in everything !"

"What do you find in the filing cabinets of a law firm? Organised crime."