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Joke of the Day
"How many Alzheimer's patients does it take to change a light bulb? To get to the other side."
Next Joke
"A snake walks into a bar... The bartender says, ""How did you do that?"""
"How can you tell the sex of an ant? Throw it into a pool. If it sinks, it is a girl ant. If it floats, then it is a ""BUOYANT""."
"I feel like the length of my twitter name is juuuuuust wedging me out of many MANY #FF tweets #delusional"
"Somebody needs to tell Tim Burton about the other actors"
"A couple of crows were in prison the other day... They were held for attempted murder."
"Forced to use Axe Shampoo & Conditioner this morning and now my hair is high fiving people and calling them Braaaah."
"What does a clever sentry on guard duty say when he wakes up to see his commanding officer standing over him? Amen"
"""What are you doing, dad?"" ""Filing taxes... LOLJK... I'm googling ""non-extraditable countries"". Pack your bags, kid! We're going to Libya!"""
"Ugh: I hid three dozen raw eggs in the house last night after taking Ambien and now I can't find them."