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Joke of the Day

"Somebody needs to tell Tim Burton about the other actors"

"Two guys walk into a bar... you would think the second guy would duck."

"What's the difference between a lobster with boobs and a filthy bus stop? One's a busty crustacean while the other's a crusty bus station."

"LOL""Twitter is better with friends. We found some people you might know"". Block Block Block Block"

"The president says 60% of Americans don't know math -- 60%. So what if 60% don't know math? What about the 85% that do know math?"

"*she hears me singing in the shower* Her: oh he's so cute *she hears a guitar amp click on and feedback ring out* Her: NATE NOOOOOOOOOOOO"

"Why is it that.. ..we still fall for click bait titles?"

"[guy from the 50s arrives in a time machine] ""Who's president?"" Barack Obama ""Braco? Sounds Mexican"" Nope ""Whew"" You might want to sit down"

"And God said, ""Let there be light""... ..and American beer turned into water. And it was bad."

"My penis was in the Guinness Book of World Records. Until the library kicked me out...."