136366

Joke of the Day

"14yo: Have you ever smoked marijuana? Me: Today? 14yo: What? Me: What?"

"The Doctor said I should stop with all this phone sex. He said I might get hearing aids."

"I long for the days when waking up with a ""stiff one"" wasn't referring to my lower back."

"4 yr old daughter calls her ankle bones ""my balls"" in case you were wondering if I was raising geniuses over here."

"Want to hear a joke about nitric oxide? NO"

"Kim Jong Un is 30, runs a dictatorship, executes ex-girlfriends, and openly threatens to annihilate the US. What am I doing with MY life?"

"Weather man said all you need today is sunglasses and sunscreen but I think I'll put some clothes on too."

"Remember to make short sighted assumptions and rash decisions with almost no information today."

"My friend told me his wife talks a lot in her sleep ""I know"" was probably not the right answer"

"The mathematician worked from home, Because he only functioned in his domain."