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Joke of the Day

"I long for the days when waking up with a ""stiff one"" wasn't referring to my lower back."

"How do you make a tissue dance? By putting a little boogie in it!"

"Judge: Doctor how many autopsies have you performed on dead people? A: All my autopsies are on dead people."

"honey, i think the milk's gone bad ""i only bought it yesterday"" yeah well, look at this.. *milk is running a meth lab in the fridge*"

"Why won't Arnold Schwarzenegger upgrade to windows 10? Because : he still loves vista,baby!"

"Life is scary At least the salary is funny"

"Going to the gym is such a great workout. I never actually enter the building, but the walk there is nice. Sometimes I even walk back."

"Two black guys go into a convenience store, Pay for their stuff and leave."

"I wish these fundamentalists would stop blaming natural disasters on the gays. Everybody knows Sandy happened because of the confluent evils of Wall Street and Jersey Shore."

"Q: What has Clinton done that no one has been able to do in the last 5 years? A: Unite the Republican Party."