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Joke of the Day

"*renames my kids South and East, and leaves them on Kanye's doorstep*"

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"What do you call a wrongly accused art thief? Framed"
"So a termite walks into a bar. He then proceeds to ask, ""where's the bar tender""?"
"A new species of fish have evolved to have wrists They're called metacarpals."
"Q: What's the highest form of praise you can receive from a pimp? A: A back-handed compliment."
"What do you call an experienced Nazi doctor who treats animals? A veteran Aryan"
"VW just released a new diesel car... It's called the Cheetah. ... credits to a colleague at work"
"The Patriots winning a Super Bowl without cheating"
"On a scale from Casey Anthony to Jerry Sandusky... how much do you like kids?... Somewhere around a Ronald McDonald, I pretend to like them but slowly kill them with diabetes"
"Its so busy at work... I feel like a priest and all my tickets are altar boys, I need to touch them all."