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Joke of the Day

"NSFW Dad walks into a room And sees his daughter masturbating with a carrot. ""Daamn"" - he says: ""I was going to eat that later! And now it's gonna taste like carrots!!!"""

Next Joke
 
"I came up with a suspenseful joke about cheese... Queso here it goes...."
"Why do ducks have big flat feet? To stamp out forest fires."
"""I'm tired of you pushing me around and talking behind my back."" ----people in wheelchairs probably"
"What's an emo's favorite game? Russian roulette, except with a full chamber."
"What starts with F and ends in UCK? Fire truck."
"Men are like mascara, they usually run at the first sign of emotion."
"What did the necrophiliacs girlfriend say before going bowling?"
"*gets down to snails level* IF YOU JUST TELL ME WHERE YOU'RE TRYING TO GET TO THEN I CAN HELP YOU GET THERE FASTER."
"I once knew a girl so skinny... that when she swallowed a grape, 3 men left town. (it takes some thought)"